It's been a crazy couple of months and I've found it near impossible to find time for all my blogs. On top of that, I'm a little shy about posting some of the things I am feeling. I've been dealing with an incredibly increased level of pain lately. In particular, my neck, right shoulder and right arm are on fire over 50% of the time. I can't sleep comfortably or work without pain. I feel like by the time I'm in the car on the way to work, I've expended half my spoons.
It takes all my willpower to go to the gym, even though at least I've accomplished something if I do. Then I usually feel a little better, too. I generally get a spoon back after a workout, though I have to lose one just walking to the gym (1/4 mile). By the time this is over, I'm racking my brain trying to recall what I'm supposed to work on that day. I keep lists, but details get lost in my head. I've been taking ginkgo biloba and that has been helping. Some of the fog is lifting enough for me to at least have an attention span worth noting. ;)
Unfortunately, I can feel the depression trying to take hold of me again. I had a great vacation over the 4th, but now I'm back to dirty house, too much laundry, and three nights a week when I'm on my own putting the kids to bed and trying to clean. Not to mention a night of getting sent to the back on my own. I feel exiled to the bedroom. As soon as my recorded episode of Rachael Ray is over, I'm hitting the bath. For now, Mommy is needed.